please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
