white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The power of my boobs compel you
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
