do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
