There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
