im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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