The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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