His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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