I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
