Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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