i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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