Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
