windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
