i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
