i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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