grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
