I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
