Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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