Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
