The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
