my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
