we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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