You can't special order awesome
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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