come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
