I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
