i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
