I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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