dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
