yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
