with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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