i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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