hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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