Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
