So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She said her name was "party"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
