Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
