she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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