We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
farters have to be the big spoon...
two words...techno handjob
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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