I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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