turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
