sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
