No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
