she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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