Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
two words: eviction party
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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