My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
God, I missed his penis.
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