I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
