the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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