I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
