so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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