the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
