This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wear drunk well.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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