He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
