sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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