I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
