I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were destined to go to rehab together
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
