so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
