i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
