no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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