we're blogging at a bar
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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