the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
